Pictures, snapshots in my head of your first day at home

Resting in your bassinet I can recall the view like yesterday

Of dolls and soccer and graduations and a wedding

Your pretty purple pajamas – Daddy’s perfect little lady


Perfect lasted just 2 short weeks and then it started with a scare

Daddy could not find God in it all, just fear and despair

Tubes and beeps and needles and a cold room

You began to give us a new view of the world – Patience Daddy


A reprieve and then more seizures and hospital beds

Doctors have no answer for you and it is frustrating

Swings and smiles and strange food and walks hand in hand

Expectations have become simple prayers for a miracle – Daddy loves you


Pictures, nightmares of that first moment of the rest of my life

Heart pounding fast and then a resigned ache of sadness

Screaming and sirens and tears and people everywhere

You are healed and God will be found in the details – Daddy misses you

9 comments:

TheEpicBeat said...

That's beautiful and haunting and cathartic and gripping.

We miss her too.

03/03/1974 - 02/09/2010 said...

Welcome to the healing aspect of blogdom. I'm sure blogging will help you sort out many emotions, feelings, frustrations, and eventually happiness.

TheEpicBeat said...

BTW - you have the eyes of a Sith Lord in the picture up top

Very scary.

Mark said...

Yeah those eyes are pretty sick looking. I am not a photo guy.

MamaSue said...

Oh, Mark. Again my heart breaks for your loss and for ours so long ago and yet still so fresh, so close.

You DO have much to say, and we DO want to hear it all. this is a great way to safely say what's on your mind...and there's always the delete key.

About that photo, though. I bet Christina could hook you up.

Jeff and Yvonne Weinstein said...

Much too sadly beautiful.

La Rodriga said...

Wow...I'm trying not to cry while I'm at work. Keep the blogs coming...it's good for the soul.

Lauren said...

I am so sorry to hear about your loss! My heart goes out to you and Adrianne. You are in my prayers and hope that "Sunshine" brings you joy and laugther throughout the years to come!:-) Tell Adrianne I said hi!

Much love,
Lauren

Anonymous said...

Been waiting 3 days hoping something profound would come to say, but there is nothing I can say that hasn't already been said 100 times. I will however put this blog on my list to read in hopes that someday you will address BASS, preferably "largemouth" from a Doctor's viewpoint, (i.e., expanding mandible or just loose hinges). Love to you and Adrianne. JW